Outlaw

The dead don’t shoot back,

But the tumbleweeds still roll;

Time for a showdown.

Song of the Week: May 23 – May 29

Hello Mary Lou

Ricky Nelson (Greatest Hits — Ricky Nelson)

2005 Capitol Records

This is a great song that never made it to #1.  It did, however, make it to #2 in Europe, which is something, I suppose.  It includes a great (and influential, as cited by Queen guitarist Brian May) guitar solo halfway through the song.  On the solo, guitarist James Burton uses one banjo string on his guitar to get that “twangy pop” sound that continues to be emulated in both country and rock guitar today.

The Not-So-Obvious

Some (Not So Obvious) Things That Make Women Attractive

A Smile

You can’t ever go wrong by smiling.  I mean, if you are missing a lot of teeth or you drool when you smile (or some other random condition), then guys might back away from you.  But a smile is always attractive, no matter what the circumstances.

Eyes

Eyes are related to smiles in the sense that when you smile (for real) your eyes can light up.  Bright eyes (again, barring random disfiguration of the eyeballs) are quite attractive.  Plus, I don’t think anyone has ever had a problem with you checking out their eyeballs.  There is a reason you’ve never heard, “quit undressing my eyes with your eyes!” It’s silly.

Attitude

A confident attitude (not stuck-up, vain, or pompous, mind you) is always attractive.  Anberlin, on Never Take Friendship Personal sings, “if you can’t hold yourself together, why should I hold you now?” and I think it is mostly true.  Confidence is always sexy.

Plays Nice With Others

I think women who are kind are hot.  This secret quality goes a long way in my book, and not only does it add to your attractiveness level, but it immediately gives you “possible keeper” status.  I mean, who wants to be with a jerk?

Song of the Week: May 16 – May 22

Never Take Friendship Personal

Anberlin (Never Take Friendship Personal)

Tooth & Nail, 2005

The title was made (supposedly) when Anberlin kicked one of its guitarists out of the band.  He was apparently only wanting sex and drugs with his rock & roll.  Wherever it came from, though, the title track from an excellent album is a great tune to scream with as the weather gets nice and you drive a little faster!

A Little Bit Behind

Happy belated

Stress test.  Let the caffeine run

Its course.  Then wake up.

This Seems Familiar…

Everything depends

On a reddish wheelbarrow —

Wait. No, that’s not right.

Song of the Week: May 9th — May 15th

Violet Hill

Coldplay (Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends)

2008 Parlophone

“If you love me, won’t you let me know?”

“If you love me, won’t you let me go?”

I don’t know. Will I?  Can I? Could I?  I suppose we’ll see.  Great song.  Give it a go.

When You Go to Kiss Your Honey…

Rule #81

Be a good kisser.

This is important.  And lots of people are absolutely terrible at it.

Some examples of terrible kissers include:

The Suckerfish:  This person does not kiss you.  Instead, this specimen attaches to one of your lips and sucks on them.  Horrible. Don’t do it.

Limp Lip McGee:  This person does not make use of the muscles in their lips.  They literally push their face into yours, and their lips touch your face.  If you are this person, just forget kisses, and try to perfect your hug.

The Slobber Caballero:  This person drools.  Quite a bit.  It isn’t drool exactly (just overactive saliva glands, I suppose), but c’mon.  Nobody wants to be slobbered upon.  They want to be kissed.

Petrified Tongue-in-Cheeky:  This person (presumably) has no idea what to do with their tongue.  So, they stick it out.  And they kiss you with it. Often.  Ewwwie. They literally leave their tongue sticking out of their mouth the whole time.  Uncool.

Please, think about how you kiss before you actually do.  You don’t want to ruin something good because you can’t figure out how to make out.

Blood Sugar

Don’t you try to eat

Forty foot tall marshmallow

Peep! Sugar Coma!!

Iron Maiden!

Rule #19

How you smell (or don’t) is important!

You cannot stink.  Smelling bad is a destroyer of relationships (unless you’ve been working out, playing sports, etc., it’s expected you perspire for those things).

My friends (a while back) were very helpful in this respect.  I had a magazine out (GQ), and they grabbed it, with the intent of smelling the cologne samples contained therein.  When, after smelling one, they all said “ohhhh!!” and fainted a little bit, I decided I should probably wear that one.

Now, I frequently get comments that I smell “yummy,” and could be “eaten up.”

Not having a smell may not hurt your chances with the opposite sex, but having the right smell will inevitably increase your attractiveness.

Rule #36

Learn how to iron!

You need to learn how to iron your clothes.  I’m sorry, I know you hate it;  but you don’t want to look like you just crawled out of the hamper!

Again, you can still get a girl if you are all wrinkly.  Your relationship can (and many do) still work.  But why risk it? why look like a slob?  If that girl of your dreams walks by, you want to be ready.  So set up the ironing board in front of the TV, turn on some sports, and wield that iron!!